


Illegal Tender

by track_04



Series: Beauty in the Breakdown [2]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-09
Updated: 2010-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-14 17:37:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/track_04/pseuds/track_04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoko knows far too much about death. Hina's life is hard. These things are most likely related.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Illegal Tender

"Did you know that a human head remains conscious 15 to 20 seconds after decapitation?"

Hina stopped in the doorway and sighed, glancing pointedly at his watch. "8 seconds. That's a new record."

"I wonder what they think about," Yoko mumbled, glancing away from his computer screen to give the other man a pointed look. "Someday you'll be grateful that I keep you informed like this, you know."

"About death?" Hina arched an eyebrow as he moved to take a seat, grateful that there seemed to be at least one chair free of boxes and stacks of paper. It was an improvement from having to hover at the edge of Yoko's desk and hoping to god he didn't knock something over (even if it would have served the other right for being such a slob). He'd made that mistake when he'd first gotten moved to Cold Case and it had taken him bringing Yoko free, rather expensive lunch for a _month_ before the other had forgiven him for messing up his "filing system".

"It _is_ your job."

"No. Solving crimes is my job. The crimes I solve just sometimes happen to involve murder."

"Whatever. You should be thanking me for all I do for you."

"Just give me the files." Hina rolled his eyes and offered the other a small slip of yellow paper, watching as Yoko took it and threw it in a pile of similar-looking papers on one corner of his desk. He would never understand how Yoko actually _found_ anything in the mess that he called an office or the adjacent archives, but the other had never been late finding anything for him (with the exception of the aforementioned month long cold shoulder, and that had been more a case of not bothering to look than not being able to find something) the entire two years Hina had been in Cold Cases, though, so there had to be some sort of method to his madness.

Yoko grinned and pointed to a stack of files on the edge of his desk, situated between a stack of comics and Yoko's ever-present DS. "All you had to do was ask."

"I would have if you weren't so busy telling me creepy facts," Hina grumbled, pulling the first file off the top of the stack and flipping through it absently. "You should hang out with that Masuda kid. He's always quoting weird facts at me."

"Like what?"

"Ants always fall over on their right side when they're drunk."

"Seriously?"

"That's what he said. I didn't bother to check." Hina looked up from the file and snorted at the entirely too serious look on the other man's face, his eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. "You're going to look it up after I leave, aren't you?"

"No." Yoko pouted, giving the other a quick, indignant look before he turned back to his computer. "I'm going to look it up now."

Hina leaned forward to check through the remainder of the stack of files. "I really wish Nino had never shown you how to use Wikipedia."

"I learned to use Wikipedia on my own." Yoko sniffed and did his best job of looking offended. "Nino showed me how to use google."

"Idiot." Hina reached out and smacked the other on the back of the head with his right hand, his left still sifting through the stack of folders, checking names and case numbers without missing a beat.

"Careful, Officer Gorilla. If you give me a concussion I won't be able to find files for you--ow!"

"You do just fine with half a brain now," Hina pointed out, laughing at the dirty look the other shot him. He glanced back at the stack of files then and frowned at the glossy front page of what was most definitely _not_ a case file staring back at him. "What the hell, Yoko. Why is there a porn magazine with my files?"

"Oh, that," Yoko stopped rubbing the back of his head and grinned a little. "Nino wanted you to take that to Matsuoka."

"Why can't he do it?"

"They gave him one of the new interns. I think he's afraid the kid'll blow up the computer lab if he leaves him alone."

"They actually found an intern who wanted to work with him?"

"No." Yoko grinned as if the thought pleased him entirely too much and leaned back in his chair. "Koichi gave him one of the undecided kids."

"I thought Koichi said digital forensics was a waste of time."

"He did." Yoko's grin widened as he leaned in toward the other. "Apparently Jun was the one who suggested it."

"Why?"

"Payback." Yoko chuckled lowly and glanced at the door quickly before continuing in a stage whisper. "Remember that picture of Jun from High School that got emailed to everyone in Jun's address book last month?"

"The one with the glasses?"

"And the braces."

"Yeah--wait, that was Nino?"

Yoko shrugged and smirked at the other knowingly. "So the rumor goes. It got back to Jun and a week later Nino had an intern."

"Man, that's rough." Hina laughed and shook his head, making a mental note to text Nino about it later. He would have felt sorry for Nino if the other hadn't been asking for it. He was kind of surprised Jun had let some of the other things Nino had done slide up until now.

"For the kid, yeah."

"Tell Nino I'll take the magazine this time, but he owes me one," Hina mumbled, still laughing to himself as he slid the questionable magazine back between the file folders and stood to gather the stack in his arms. "I'm not being paid to be a courier for his black market porn dealings with Matsuoka."

"He said you could look at it before you hand it over if you want."

"Really?" Hina paused, his face thoughtful. "This isn't one of those freaky ones with the girls with ropes and riding crops, is it?"

" _Whiplash_? No, that comes in on the 15th. This one's some American specialty magazine he gets. All the girls have these amazing boobs." Yoko held his hands out, cupping the air a foot or so in front of his chest with a grin. " _Really_ amazing."

Hina rolled his eyes but couldn't help a slight smile. "Tell him next time he wants me to do this he's buying me dinner."

"I'm sure he'll bring you a nice bunch of bananas for payment."

Hina settled for kicking at the bottom of Yoko's chair since his arms were too full to smack him. "Idiot."

"You love me."

Hina resisted the urge to kick Yoko's chair again for good measure. Sometimes with Yoko it was best just to ignore him. "I need the Yano case evidence by Wednesday. Don't forget."

"Do I ever?"

Hina didn't bother to answer as he turned to leave. If he made it back to the office fast enough, he could get a good three hours in before Matsuoka realized he had his magazine (or, most likely, heard from Nino) and came to collect it.


End file.
